MyLoveStory =) 060706

Okay, SOPHOMORE year (2005) I transferred to this one school where my brother graduated from (c/o2003). The school never accept transferees, you have to be there by freshman year. Since we know the president, I got in. I honestly hated that school, cus me n my friends thought it was a cheap ass school and people are nerds. Well,firstday of school was whack. I dont like it there. Everyone was looking at me like im an alien. I was the only NEW sophomore. And I feel awkward when people started asking me shit. Its a pretty big school, it has highschool n college combined. During lunch, I noticed this dude. He was bald, cute and attractive. When he walked by our class room I randomly tapped him and ask if hes a gangster. He said he aint, hes just a simple person. And I know he was lying. The weeks almost over. Friday after school he was in the quadrangle with his team mates. They had practice for basketball, and fortunately I was waiting for their coach to ask for my class schedule. While I was standing there, one of my classmate went up to me to sit down by the bench I was waiting at. Luckily, they had a break and many of them went to sit by the bench. I saw him! They start recognizing my new face. They asked questions and they found out im a sister of their friend. So basically, they know my brother who graduated there. They were all shocked with mouth open. Well, as days pass by he started talking to me. Calling me by my last name whenever I pass by their room. Asking me stuff about my brother. He even tells his friends who am I. Well, I start to like him. And I hated the fact that everyone finds out about it. He surely knew and we started feeling awkward with each other. We stop talking, like we dont know each other. Not even Hi or a smile. I started to like other dudes. I got over him real quick. But everytime I pass by their room, I cant stop looking at him. I thought our story ended that quick, but it did not. SOPHOMORE year was over, hello SUMMER! During the summer,I found out that our papers from the U.S is on process and soon we gotta leave. My friend told me that HE has a phone and my friend just gave me his number. So i thought, why not talk 2 him or say Hi whatsoever. He texted me back like nothing happened. We became so close and one night, he just asked me out. I thought he was drunk or something but he aint. So we had a relationship, 3 weeks before I left the Philippines. He even went to my house the day Im leaving. He was talking to my brother, and I did not really get the chance to talk to him. I was shy and he was too. When hes about to leave he looked at me, say bye. I cried man, when he left. And continiously we were texting till I get to the airport. I called him when I was there. When I came in the U.S we had the best communication ever. We mail letters, talk on the phone, text, friendster. And im glad. We did not even break up, its just stay like that. But clearly were only friends and its official. I love this dude, and I told myself I'll continue doing that no matter what. As days, months, years went by, my love for him keeps getting stronger. And I asked God, soon me&him together. I always think about him, all day everyday. I also told him that I only see him as a friend, that theres NOmore bf/gf connection thang. I lied fosho. I've been keeping my feelings for him, Ive been hiding it. I dont wanna tell him cause I dont wanna lose the good friendship we have. i really dont. Thats why I decided to keep it almost 2 years. This dude, makes everything wonderful to me. He knows how to make me happy, he knows how to comfort me when im down. Hes got everything, I dont have to ask for anything. God knows what im feeling, and i know for the fact the He got plans. This past months, I started loosing my connection with him, I feel like I started loosing him. Hes so busy with basket ball. And as those months pass by, I realize my feelings are fading for him. its like i dont feel the sparks nomore, i dont feel the excitement and love i used to feel for him. Its seem like hes NOTHING. I dont know, I thought im just confused or im just missing him. But no, it aint the reason. Maybe I really lose the love, maybe its really gone. Honestly, I do want to move on, I do wanna start a new beginning, I really wanna give him up. I heard he has a gf now, and maybe thats one of the sign ive been looking for. Im moving on, ive been hurt a lot, my hopes went up too high, and i expected a lot. I feel dumb, i feel stupid loving him and being stuck with him for a long period of time and now im giving him up. I fought though, I know that, but i lose the game. I turned around and decided to finish it not winning. Hes happy with his life, and I wanna be happy too but i cant be happy if i stay stuck with one guy who cant love me and who cant see me more as a friend. I gave my all, my everything. But he did not deserve it. I trust God all my life,I trust His plans for me. Even I give this dude up, if we are really for each other, that strong love will come back no matter what. And I so believe and respect that. God, everything happens for a reason, I learned a lot from this teachings. I learned so much and I know that theres more to learn. What ever happens, I'll go with your flow. I love You so much. Im sorry for everything. And thank You for this wonderful experience, with this wonderful person. TIMOTHY JOHN A. TACLAS you'll always be a part of me, you'll always be special =)